


Carnal Knowledge

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: First Time, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-07
Updated: 2002-10-07
Packaged: 2017-11-01 08:07:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Lana's throwing a Halloween party at the Talon. Clark convinces Lex to dress in drag Pete ends up hitting on Lex."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carnal Knowledge

## Carnal Knowledge

by Teaphile

<http://www.geocities.com/teaphile>

* * *

Clark jumped as the orange piece of card stock hit the table in front of him. He picked it up and examined it, as Lex sat down opposite him. "A Halloween party?" he asked. 

Lex leaned over the table and read the card upside-down. "That's what it says. You are officially the first to know, after Lana and myself." 

Clark grinned. "I love Halloween." 

"I imagined you would." Lex sipped his coffee and shot a bemused glance at his friend. "You'll need a costume." 

Clark closed up the books he'd been studying from and leaned his arms on the table. "Isn't that a bit...childish? I figured everyone would just be dressed normally." 

Lex tapped the card. "Uh-uh. It says here, 'no-one without a costume will be admitted'. You have to have a costume." 

"Will you help me with it?" 

Clark looked so hopeful that Lex couldn't resist the smile that crept over his face. "Sure. You know, you'd look really funny in drag." 

"Drag?" Clark whispered the word. "You mean, like, in women's clothing?" 

Lex lowered his voice to match. "Yes," he hissed. 

Clark thought about it for a minute. "I guess it wouldn't be worse than any other costume I've had." He nodded forcefully. "Okay, I'll do it. But only on one condition." 

"What's that?" 

"That you do it too. Dress up like a woman." 

"I can handle that." Lex almost laughed at Clark's surprise. 

"Really? No arguments?" 

Lex drained his coffee and stood. "It's not like I've never done it before, Clark." He could only imagine the expression on Clark's face as he left the Talon. 

* 

Halloween came, and Clark barely managed to make it through school without cracking up. He couldn't wait to see Pete's face when Clark entered the Talon dressed as Marilyn Monroe, complete with blonde wig and false eyelashes. No high heels, though. Lex had tried to talk him into it, but Clark was tall enough; he didn't need to add another three inches. The stumbling had been a problem, too. 

After school and his chores Clark waited impatiently for Lex to call. They were going to dress together at the castle, so that Lex could help him with his makeup. Lex, however, had been forced to go to Los Angeles for a week, and hadn't phoned to say he'd returned. Clark was getting worried. 

Finally the phone rang, and Clark answered it eagerly. "Lex?" 

"You know, people will get the wrong idea if you keep answering the phone with my name." 

"I knew it was you." 

"How?" 

"I just did. Should I come over now?" 

"I'm sorry, Clark. I'm stuck in LA. I won't be able to make it home until tomorrow." 

"Damn." 

"Believe me, I feel the same way. I was really looking forward to this." 

"There's nothing you could do about it. I'll take lots of pictures for you." 

"You do that." 

"Talk to you later?" 

"Certainly. I'll call when I get back." 

"Bye, Lex." 

Clark felt a rush of panic when he hung up the phone. There was no way he'd wear a dress if he was the only one. Therefore, he needed a new costume, fast. "Mom!" 

* 

All heads turned when the tall, lithe geisha entered the Talon at nine o' clock. Her green silk robes shone in the low light and her face stood in pale contrast to her black wig. Her movements were smooth and precise, and Clark was immediately suspicious. 

He felt an elbow in his ribs. "Man, who's that?" Pete asked, staring shamelessly at the newcomer. 

Clark kept his face neutral. "I don't know. Maybe somebody's sister?" 

"Maybe. Think she'd dance with me?" 

"Isn't that a geisha's job?" 

Pete punched Clark lightly on the arm. "Are you implying that a woman would have to be paid to dance with me?" 

Clark looked Pete up and down. "In that costume? I'm thinking, yes." 

"What's wrong with Tarzan? It's a classic." Pete's indignation was only partially feigned. 

Clark grabbed a passing Lara Croft. "Lana, what do you think of Pete's costume?" 

Lana let him pull her over, and examined Pete. "I like it. It works on you." She backed away, nodding, and resumed her work. 

"See? Even your precious Lana has the hots for me." 

"Yeah, yeah." Clark glanced at Pete, and noticed his determined stare at the geisha. "Fine. Go talk to her. I'll stand here and watch your glorious defeat." 

Pete strode over to the geisha just as Chloe joined Clark. "What's up?" she asked. 

Clark snickered. "Pete's going to ask her," he pointed to where the geisha was chatting with the local librarian, "to dance." 

"Her? She's, like, ten feet tall." Chloe peered more closely at Pete's target. "Who is that?" 

Clark shrugged. "I'm not sure." 

* 

Only through careful schooling did Lex keep a straight face when Pete, dressed in fake fur, asked him to dance. He accepted in the high-pitched, whispery voice he'd been using since he arrived. Pete led him to the back area that was being used for dancing, and Lex caught a glimpse of Clark, looking very corpse-like, and...Chloe? Wearing a black wig, black contacts, and with black veins drawn all over her face. Lex shrugged mentally and followed his dance partner. He didn't notice when the other two stepped in behind them. 

Pete pulled Lex into position and started swaying to the music. "I'm Pete." 

Lex thought quickly. "Hatsumomo." 

"Staying in character this evening?" 

"I try. She's a character from a book; a very famous geisha." 

Pete gestured at a movie poster on the wall near them. "So, what's your favourite movie?" 

Lex nearly laughed as he answered, "M. Butterfly." 

"Never heard of it." 

"Oh it's very interesting. It's about a diplomat who falls in love with a Chinese opera singer. Really hot." 

The song was about to end. "I'll have to rent it sometime." 

Lex pulled away from Pete and winked. "It'll knock your socks off." 

Lex intercepted Clark as he and Chloe approached Pete. "May I have this dance?" 

Clark narrowed his eyes, then smiled. "Sure." He easily wrapped a long arm around Lex's waist as another song started up. Lex couldn't help but notice that Clark was...a very good dancer. Lex pulled away slightly, putting about an inch of air between them, the most he could manage. 

"What brings you to Smallville?" Clark asked, his lips dangerously close to Lex's ear. 

"This and that. Mostly this party." 

Clark's hand moved slowly up Lex's back, his fingers brushing gently. Lex shivered as the hand moved back down. "Are you a friend of Nell's?" Clark asked. 

"In a way." Lex could hear voices behind him, and he concentrated on figuring out what Chloe was saying. He really needed to be distracted from Clark's warm breath on his neck. 

Lex felt Clark's cheek brush his, and suddenly he had nowhere to look but directly into those blue-green eyes. His gaze traveled from Clark's eyes, down his proud nose, to his full lips. Lips which were slowly moving towards his and somehow, magnetically maybe, pulling his own mouth closer. Lex took a deep breath and pushed away. "Clark," he whispered, unable to meet his friend's eyes. "I'm not who you think I am." 

Clark smiled. "I know exactly who you are, Lex." And then those magnificent, magnetic lips were covering his, open, with no resistance, and Lex easily took possession of Clark's lips and tongue, large and wet and wonderful. 

Even in the midst of a mind-numbing experience, Lex had to laugh when he heard Pete's rueful, "Will you look at that?" 

* 

The song changed to a fast one, and Clark could no longer kiss Lex without bringing a whole lot more attention to them than they already had. Breaking away, he whispered, "Let's go somewhere else." 

Lex quirked his head in the direction of the outer cafe. "My office?" 

"Perfect." Clark kept Lex's hand in his as they worked their way through the crowd. At the office door Clark quickly checked to make sure no one else was in the hall, and they ducked in. 

"God, Clark," Lex said, leaning against his desk. "How did you know? No one else recognized me." 

Clark traced a finger down Lex's forehead and over his nose, stopping to caress his lower lip. "I've been watching you for a year now. The way you walk, the way you tilt your head, your smile. I'd know you anywhere, in any costume." He kissed Lex again, moaning softly when Lex stood and brought their bodies into full contact. Clark barely had a moment to notice that Lex was exactly his height--and to wonder if he wore heels--before he felt strong hands running all over his body, over his arms, up to grasp his hair, down to run fingernails over his denim-clad ass, an action that made Clark yelp in delight. 

Pulling away to kiss down Lex's long neck, Clark mirrored his actions, and had his hand halfway to Lex's head when Lex stopped. 

"Don't," he said firmly. "If the wig comes off I won't be able to get it back on, and everyone will know that you've been in here, making out with me." 

Clark shook off some of his daze. "Oh. That would be bad." 

"That would be very bad." 

Clark leaned against the desk beside Lex, and noticed something odd. "Hey.... How come your lipstick's not all smeared?" He'd meant to sound suspicious, but ended up sounding disappointed. No matter, because he was disappointed. He'd wanted to mess Lex up a bit, take away some of the hard perfection. 

Lex smiled in a way that made Clark think of a vulture, circling. "It's rub-proof, and very expensive." Clark tried to hold back a gasp as Lex's fingers trailed up the inside of his leg. "Hmm. I'm not completely satisfied that the lipstick works, though." The fingers worked their way casually up to Clark's fly, squeezing gently. "Perhaps I should test it some more." Clark barely had a chance to notice when Lex kissed him, then was gone. 

On his knees. In front of Clark, and oh, so slowly undoing his jeans. Very carefully, Lex pulled Clark's jeans and boxers down around his hips, leaving them there. Clark jumped when a single fingernail circled the head of his cock. He looked down at Lex, who was grinning. His grin turned evil as he just as slowly engulfed Clark with those perfect red lips. 

* 

Lana, coming back from the storage room with more straws, stopped when she heard a noise. It came from the office, and sounded strangely like someone moving furniture. Frowning, she opened the door and poked her head inside. She was just about to call out when her brain finally caught up to what she was seeing: Clark, leaning against the desk, flushed and moaning, with his head thrown back and his arms wrapped tightly around himself, as if afraid to touch the woman. Lana shook her head. The woman, the geisha, kneeling in front of him, hands on his hips. Her hands moved around to grab Clark's ass at the same time as her head dipped lower, and Clark gasped. At that point Lana figured she'd seen enough. 

She closed the door quietly, turned back into the dark hall, and bumped into Chloe. "I found Clark," she said breathlessly. 

Pete snorted. "We noticed." 

Lana fiddled with the box of straws still in her hand. "You saw that?" 

"Oh, yeah." 

Chloe nodded. "Enough to know what was going on." 

"Don't give him a hard time about it, please?" Lana was glad for Clark, but also felt a little sorry for him. No one's first sexual experience should be with a total stranger in the back room of a cafe. 

Chloe and Pete just looked at each other. "Like hell. We live to give Clark a hard time," Chloe said. 

"Although, it looked more like he was giving her a hard time," Pete joked. 

Chloe just glared at him, then turned back to Lana. "We'll get years of teasing out of this." 

Lana could only smile and go back to her job, glad she had an excuse to leave. 

* 

Clark felt like his face was splitting in half, but that was okay because Lex's grin was just as wide, and looked even funnier with the still unsmudged lipstick in its perfect cupid's bow. He kissed that grin, and ended up just bumping teeth. Lex even had sexy teeth. 

He watched as Lex composed his face and straightened his posture, getting back into character. "Clark," Lex warned, "You look like you've just been fucked." 

"Good thing I have, then." 

"You don't need to look that way, though. Do you want your friends to start asking questions?" Lex waited until Clark looked something like he usually did, then opened the door. 

"Hi!" Chloe said brightly. "So nice to see you again." 

Lex, knowing an opportunity when it presented itself, nodded at her and Pete, smiled again at Clark, and left the Talon. 

Pete clapped his hands together. "Clark." 

Not even Pete could wipe away Clark's good mood. "Uh-huh." 

"Did she do a good job, or just give you a lick and a promise?" He snickered at his own joke. 

"She was excellent, Pete, thank you for asking." 

Chloe crossed her arms and glared at Clark. "And will you be seeing her again?" 

Clark just grinned. "Nope. Not her." 

"You are damn lucky," Pete said, heading back out into the cafe. 

"I know." 

**END**


End file.
